Let me paint a picture for you. The house is quiet, the two of you are lying in bed, and your husband has that look in his eye. Your first reaction might be to say “not tonight” or “I have a headache”, but you go along with it. Yet in the moment, all you can think about are the things that need to be done. There are dishes in the sink, laundry that needs to be folded, the dog needs to be walked, kids’ lunches need to be packed, and you have to iron your clothes for work tomorrow. Then before you know it, the romantic moment is over and you barely remember a thing.
Sound familiar? To any wife and mother it probably does. Fear not though, the romance stealing to-do list can be conquered. There are some things that we can do to help turn our focus to our husbands and away from everything else. First, if you are finding it difficult to calm your mind, try turning on some music. In this case, we want soft soothing music, this is not the time for rocking out to heavy metal! You also need something that is going to relax and help focus your mind. Something that works for me is focusing on my senses. Think about what you smell. Can you smell his favorite cologne, or maybe the fragrance of a lit candle? Next, focus on what you hear. Is there soft music playing in the background, and can you hear his breath in your ear? Finally, think about what you feel. Is it the weight of his body on top of yours? Do you feel his hands touching your legs or his lips on your skin? If so, now you are present and “all in” to the moment.
However, before we do any of this we must first pray that God will bless us in this area. Prayer is the only way that any part of our lives can be truly conquered. Wives, we have to go to God and ask him to give us the strength to overcome the to-do list, and to find our joy in sex again.
We know that God created sex as a gift for husbands and wives to grow closer to each other. We also know that God created it to be enjoyable and pleasurable. This is hard though, when all you can think about are the overwhelming amount of things that need to be done. In order to overcome this, we must turn our focus elsewhere. By turning our thoughts away from the ominous to-do list and onto God, we will begin to experience something incredible. He will transform our thoughts, and we can then focus on glorifying Him and honoring Him through giving all of ourselves to our husbands. When we focus on God, we give Him the invitation to bless us and help us feel a deep emotional connection with our husbands. We can experience sex the way that God intended it, as “one flesh”, hot and passionate.
Of course, the to-do list will still be there when everything is done, but you will not care. You have given yourself to your husband and to the moment, with body, mind, heart, and soul. You are both glorifying God and focusing on the moment with your husband. You then say to yourself,” the to-do list can wait”!