We have all been in the situation where a group of women are all talking, and suddenly the subject turns to our husbands. “My husband thinks he is Mr. Fix-it, but is more like Mr. Break-it, haha.” ” My husband snores so loud I dream about lawn mowers all night.” “Sometimes my husband makes me feel like I am raising 3 kids instead of 2.” After a few of these stories, the group erupts into laughter. But what seems like innocent, harmless talk between a group of wives can be detrimental to your marriage.
This seemingly harmless talk is in reality “trash talking” or “husband bashing”, and it destroys our husbands from the inside out. It damages their character, their reputation, and their relationship with us, their wives. It may seem innocent and just what wives are supposed to do, but it is disrespectful, dishonoring, and sometimes even humiliating to our husbands.
Trash talking has some very serious consequences. If your husband overhears or finds out about the negative things that were said, not only will he be hurt, but it can also cause resentment towards his wife. He will feel disrespected and unappreciated, and this could cause your husband to stop doing the things he normally does around the house. He will think to himself, “there is no point in it, she does not appreciate me anyway”. Also, once those negative words are spoken, you can not take them back, and your husband will not forget what you have said. Unfortunately, your group of friends will not forget what was said either. They have lost some degree of respect for your husband, and you can bet they will tell their husbands what was shared. Now your husband looks like less of a man to all of them, and the damage is done.
The most serious consequence of trash talking your husband is giving the devil a foothold in your marriage. When you say negative things about your husband, you are in essence speaking negatively about yourself. After all, you chose this man to spend forever with. Not to mention, if your husband is a child of God, then you are speaking negatively about the body of Christ. Remember, he is the head of the household just like Christ is the head of the church. When you speak badly about your husband, you speak badly about CHRIST. No one likes to be criticized, or have their shortcomings broadcast to everyone, especially by the person they love and trust the most. How would you like it if you walked by a group of men and overheard your husband telling them how you had put on a few pounds? It would not feel very good. In fact, it would hurt us very deeply to hear that come from our husbands’ mouths. Ladies, Satan wants nothing more than to drive a wedge between you and your husband, and seemingly innocent “trash talk” is one way that he accomplishes this.
The Bible tells us to honor our husbands, and one way we can do that is through the words that we speak. Wives, we need to say only positive about our husbands. Of course, this will take a conscious effort on our part. We really do have to think before we speak, and try to focus only on the good. Remember, he has seen ALL of you, the good, the bad, and the ugly, yet he chooses not to broadcast it to the public. Speaking positive things about your husband will only help your marriage. Your relationship will grow tremendously when you choose to uplift your husband in public instead of tearing him down.
ENCOURAGING THINGS TO SAY TO YOUR HUSBAND
- Thank you for being my best friend!
- Thank you for taking care of me.
- You look great today!
- You are my favorite blessing.
- You are an awesome dad!
- I love being your wife!
- Thank you for helping me.
- You are such a hard worker.
- I am so proud of you!
- I really appreciate everything that you do.
I believe we need to surround ourselves with marriage-positive people. As wives after God’s own heart, we also need to make a point to walk away when the “husband trash talk” starts. This will probably make some people uncomfortable, but it may be the eye-opener that someone in your group needs.
Ladies, let’s all get into the habit of uplifting our husbands in public. This will feel weird and look odd to others at first, but the more positive things we say, the more positive we become about our marriage and our husbands. Our words can speak either life or death, and we are doing the former when we use uplifting, encouraging, loving words about our husbands. Decide now to speak life into your marriage and your husband. He really does deserve it!