No More 50/50

We have heard so many times that marriage is a 50/50 proposition, but I am telling you that is just not the case.  The truth is, we should strive to give 100% to our marriage, all the time.  Just think of it in terms of sports: if a basketball player is only doing 50% of what he is able, then his team is going to suffer.  However, if he is giving 100%, doing all that he can, then his team has a better chance at victory.  Well, guess what?  Marriage works the same way.  If you are only giving half of what you are able, then your relationship will suffer.  But if you are giving it your all, your marriage will thrive.

I know, I can hear you guys right now.  I am so tired, I just don’t know if I can give 100%.  And that is OK.  There will be many days when we just can’t give 100%.  In fact, there may be some days when even 50% seems too much to ask, but that is when your husband steps up and gives extra for you.  Of course, the same principle goes in the other direction as well.  On the days that you know he can barely give 50%, you need to step up and give more for him.  But if we are both giving our all, most of the time, then there will be plenty left over to cover those times when we can’t.

Sacrifice in marriage can be such a blessing.  However, when one partner sacrifices more than the other, that is when problems arise.  You have all heard the term, “it takes two to tango“.  Well, it also takes two to make a sacrificial marriage work.  Marriage gives us many opportunities to sacrifice.  Amen!  Anytime that we give up our wants, comforts, or needs, we are sacrificing, and sometimes this can be painful.  Trust me, I know this isn’t easy.  It can be very difficult to put his needs ahead of mine, especially when I can barely hold my head up or the dishes are growing out of the sink.  However, giving to my husband (despite any excuses I could make) is part of a sacrificial marriage.

Young frustrated housewife standing in front of the ironing board and scatters the laundry from laundry basket.

I bet you already sacrifice and don’t even realize it.  When you have worked all day, your back is killing you, and you can barely put one foot in front of the other, you might still cook dinner for your husband.  On the nights that all you want to do is go to sleep, but you know that he wants to sit next to you and watch a TV show, you push your bedtime back a little further.  I am also sure there are plenty of occasions when your husband has shown sacrificial love.  Think of the times that he has given up playing golf to spend time with you, or when he has gone and seen the new chick movie just because you wanted to.  Having a sacrificial marriage allows us to experience the joy and satisfaction in our marriage just the way God intended it to be.

Please listen to me.  Being a sacrificial, selfless person, does not make you a doormat.  Remember that sacrifice should go both ways.  In no way are you supposed to be the only one giving all the time.  If you are reading this and you struggle with this issue, whether it be being sacrificial yourself or being taken advantage of because of your sacrifices, please ask the Lord for help.  He wants to be a part of our marriage, and when we go to him in prayer concerning our marriage he will bless us.

What is the purpose of having a sacrificial marriage, you might ask.  The whole reason that we make sacrifices in our marriage is to show the love of Christ.  News flash!  Marriage is not all about us, it was designed by God to bring glory and honor to Him.  The world, including those around us, takes notice when a husband and wife truly love each other.  God gave us the gift of marriage to show Christ to the world.  After all, it was He who gave the ultimate sacrifice, His life.  Christ laid down his life for us, and we are supposed to lay down our wants, needs and desires for our husbands and families.  When being in a sacrificial marriage gets hard, remember Jesus and his sacrifice and keep on giving.


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